Shallow or Overly Sensitive?

I'm not sure if this blog post is going to be more ranting or more of a general observation.  I've been noticing lately that people have become so fixated on looks that they have become entirely inconsiderate of the things that come out of their mouths.  I'm not surprised and I don't want to reprimand anyone because people are entitled to their opinion.

I know that media portrays a specific look.  And I know almost every woman sits down and compares herself to Heidi Klum or Megan Fox, those women who turn every head and seem so glamorous and enamored by all.  Don't get me wrong, these women are just that and I am on the same page in thinking they are gorgeous.  But we neglect the other beautiful women just because they are not size 0's that everyone wants to have sex with.

I won't lie she's hott, total girl crush but that's not the point.

Why is it that we don't put girls who are over 120 lbs on magazine covers or feature plus sized models?  Women are beautiful in all aspects, we cannot all be perfect barbie dolls who look like we were manufactured in a factory.  We've made things out to be negative: pale, curvy, too tall, stick figure, freckles, curly hair (I remember when everyone would ask me why I didn't straighten mine every day) etc. etc. there are so many.  Everyone has a beauty.  I'm putting up a picture of Crystal Renn, who is now a plus sized model (size 16) who was a model before and had suffered for many years from an eating disorder so that she would be found attractive.

I truly think she is beautiful. 

The main problem is that we've conditioned ourselves to have a really messed up sense of beauty, to treat women as objects instead of people with feelings.  I'm not saying this is everyone, or that it is an overwhelming majority, it is just something I have noticed recently.  From friends comments, banter between friends, hearsay to Facebook statuses etc. etc.
 
I'm going to just shine a light on the fact that I'm not the thinnest person, but I know that I am pretty. My confidence isn't rock solid, but I am proud of who I am and what I have done in my life.  My heart is always in the right place and I'm consistently looking for ways to make people happy.  However, as much as I hear about all those great things you hear people say "if only she was thinner etc. etc."  I won't deny that I could be in better shape, but I'm not going to starve myself to make someone like me.  I am a strong, stubborn, loving, bubbly and dedicated woman.  I'm going to state that if you don't like it, well then your damn loss because I promise you will not meet someone who does half the things I do.  That is a direct shout out to a few guys of recent, have fun with vapid ladies.

Okay okay, maybe the above statement sounded partially conceited, not my intent but I've been frustrated with people lately.  There is a detrimental aspect to being overly shallow when it comes to getting to know people and mainly it falls under not giving someone the chance to shine and show who they are, but also denying yourself the ability to see the exquisiteness of someone under a pre-concieved, society approved notion of acceptable beauty.  So, in risk of being totally shut down do you think that people are too shallow or that I'm being overly sensitive?

Bye Bye Vegetarianism

I have been a vegetarian for about 4.5 years and starting in February I had been having thoughts of giving it up.  However, I wasn't quite sure how to end something that I had been committed to that long.  When I became a vegetarian I was under insane amounts of stress with school, friends and of course boys.  I couldn't seem to make anyone happy and I had a desire to grasp something that I knew I could solely control and no matter what it wouldn't have an opinion about me.  So I woke up one day and decided I was going to give up meat and become a vegetarian. 

I had this theory that if I could eat better, I would feel better and maybe in some aspect  I would be able to make things around me better as a whole.  I was holding a grudge against someone, I hated my classes and I was just fairly miserable for an entire semester in school, and for some reason this seemed like a good way to pull myself out.

I didn't expect to stay a vegetarian for so long, but I ended up being extremely dedicated to it and researched some great recipes substituted meat for tomatoes and found that I actually like mushrooms (of course I tried them about a thousand times before I decided they were okay.)  So this brings me to the whole point of this post, on Saint Patrick's Day this year I really wanted a corned beef Reuben.  I thought about ordering one at lunch but I was worried I'd get sick and I got a salad instead.  My  coworkers were really rooting for me to break the veggie lifestyle but I couldn't do it.  After work my intern and myself went out to the Winking Lizard in Coventry to celebrate his new job and have a drink and it was there that I finally decided to order my Reuben.  One bite into it's corned beef goodness and I knew I made the right choice.  Let me tell you, you never forget what those things taste like.  I'll still be eating a great deal of veggies but I have decided that I'm going to hang out with the protein again.

So have any of my readers been vegetarian and gone back or have you thought about becoming a vegetarian?  Give me some feedback :)

Peace & High Heels

Revelations

So, I realize that it has been quite awhile since I have posted anything on my blog (not sure if anyone reads this so it may not even matter).  I have had so many revelations about friends recently and I have come to the conclusion that there are just people in your life who make it so much better, those people who even if you lose touch with them for a long time come back like they talked to you yesterday.

I have known the same group of guys for about 5 years now and for the most part it has been a consistent time.  But, every so often one person in the group with fall out or someone will get into a fight which throws the aura of the whole group off.  I just have a personal shout out to Buddy, who I have lost contact with and regained it as though no time had ever been lost quite a few times, but I really prefer when we talk on a frequent basis.  It's nights like tonight where driving to Coventry and watching SVU make you realize just how much a friend means to you.

My life has been so full of amazing people and without them I'm not sure where I would be or how I would have gotten through certain situations both good and bad without them.  So from the bottom of my heart, to each and every friend I have, Thank You. <3

23 Lessons Learned in 23 Years

Today marks the end of my birthday weekend, if you don't celebrate your birthday for at least three days you need to try it.  My actual birthday was on Saturday (Jan. 29) but I celebrated with friends on the 28th, my parents and good friend yesterday and again with my parents today (we had cake).  Anyhow, I turned 23 this year and I cannot say that I feel any different than I did at 22 or even at 21...except maybe not getting as excited to be able to buy wine if I want it.  I want to share the things I've learned over the past 23 years.

1. Regret is a wasted emotion, it is not possible to change what has happened nor to wish it away.  Why would you want to take back something that made you happy in the first place?
2. One should put less stock in what others are thinking of them; the labels, the rumors, the gossip and the cliques of life....they are all short lived and you should let yourself do what makes you happy.
3. Make sure your work means something to you, I for one always want to see my work helping others and working towards a cause.
4. People come and go in your life for multitudes of reasons, be grateful and don't ever let your friends forget you love them.
5. If you find someone in your life that you are in pain without make sure they know your feelings, one day someone else will have told them.
6. Do what you love, if that be working in a coffee shop or obtaining your doctorate, the world is really in your hands.
7. No matter what differences you had growing up, your younger siblings will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.  My little brother is the best person in the world.
8. Sometimes revisiting your childhood is good for the soul.  If you loved barbies break them out, if you zoomed around with hotwheels zoom around the track again.
9. Your grandparents will not be around forever, take time to sit down and learn their stories.  You'd be surprised what you will hear.
10. People will surprise you everyday of your life, this can be good or bad.
11. Roll with the punches per say.
12. You'll have many heartbreaks in your life.  Learn something from each and everyone of those people.
13. Read the classics; nothing will ever replace a well written book.
14. Take a drive, get lost and learn how to get yourself back.
15. Dogs make the best companions, no matter what mood you're in they just want to sit on your lap.
16. Hate takes more out of the person holding it than the person it is directed towards.
17. You can spend your whole life either wishing to be somewhere else or to go back in time.  Learn to live more in the present.
18. Smile at every person you pass, you might just be the only person to have done so.
19. Dream big.
20. Write letters to people telling them all the things you wish you said, just to put it on paper, but don't send them.
21. Keep a journal.  Write any words that come to your mind.
22. Carry a camera with you always, you never know what you might come across.
23. Start a conversation with a stranger.

23rd Birthday!

And these my readers are some of the things I have learned over the course of my life.  I'm still young so I know these are bound to change and reshape themselves.  I also have no doubt I will add onto them.  Hope someone can take some of these and tweak them to make it their own.

It's Great to Have Friends

I've been in one of those funks where the idea of being around people was not remotely appealing.  And if you know me, this is really a very rare occurrence.  I would much rather be surrounded by a group of my friends at all times then be bored sitting around by myself.

But for reasons I cannot explain I had one of those weeks where I just wanted to cry a little bit and hit the ignore button quite frequently when anyone would call me.  After a particularly tough Friday, idk what it was but I came home in a shaky mood, got into a fight with my dad (which always just makes me sad), got in the car after a close friend convinced me to go out with him and cried because the Jay-Z/Alicia Keys song came on about New York, which is where my best friend lives.

Me and my NYC Bestie circa 2009 <3; being fools

I know...sob, sob, sob, sob, sob.  But, I promise there is a point to this.  My revelation is that after a full week of funky anti-social behavior it was my friends that brought me out of it.  From an hour long phone call with my bestie in NYC to a couple days over the weekend with glasses of wine and movies with a good guy friend, to coffee and games of 10 & 2's at the dirtiest but most frequented coffee shop in the Cle with my friends...I know that I have the best support group whenever I need it and that is something that makes me ecstatic. 

They'll listen to my cry about heartaches, complain about my parents, get angry over frenemies and just be upset when I want to be.  I hope all of my dear readers having people in their life like me, without friends life is pretty much sad and meaningless.  But remember you are allowed to have a week of anti-social behavior here and there :)

It's 2011!!

I know that I'm posting this almost 2 weeks after the fact, but I had another severe case of writers block.  Since the stroke of midnight I've had a lot on my plate, it was like the magical forces of my past had come out and decided to do really strange things to my head.  The one thing I haven't talked about much on my blog, and will probably mostly keep under wraps (unless it is something I have to gush about) is my love life.  However, for the purpose of this blog I will briefly go over it.  On NYE this year my one and only love, a person who I shouldn't love but have never been able to stop, apologized to me for all the junk he put me through.  Slam the breaks, whoa.  I was entirely flabbergasted about this new revelation but I took it in stride.  Now, when one thinks that is the only drama that could come out during a night of champagne and celebrating the new year, you have to be wrong.  Forward a bit past midnight and a former college flame comes out of the woodwork and tells me he wishes I was his NYE kiss, say what??  Then a few other former flames texted me saying they missed me.  I was really confused, but by the end of the night only one thing was chalked up in my mind, since I asked all these people why they never pursued anything further.  The answer?? "You weren't aggressive enough, we had no idea how you felt about us" So from the entire former flame apocalyptic event I learned that my ideas of being really open and flirty were basically undetected by the opposite sex...wow, what a revelation.  So here is where everyone starts talking about their New Years Resolutions!!!

Haha so I wanted to share mine:
1) Become more aggressive, and I mean if I think a guy is cute actually talk to him instead of smiling from the corner.
2) Save money, geeze I'm bad at that...but I want to be able to have a cushion of savings.
3) Move out, I don't enjoy living under the parentals after being away for 4 years
4) Smile everyday, cause smiling is awesome.

That's what I got folks.  What are some of your resolutions?  Do you think it's silly to create them? 

Storybook Christmas Tree

I don't know how any of you are with Christmas Trees but I am nuts about mine.  There will never be another tree quite like my families, and ours really tells a great story. Ever since I can remember my mom made an extremely joyous task of trimming the tree.  I remember when I was little, my parents would go to the nearest YMCA and pick out the cheapest pine tree they could find.  No matter how little they spent on it, the tree was beautiful.  And when my mom got done stringing the lights her arms would be all poked up from the needles on the tree. 

During this time we didn't have as many ornaments so our tree would be pushed in a corner and the front would be decorated so that it looked extremely plush and full of ornaments, unfortunately one year it wasn't having any of the lopsidedness and toppled over (quite a few ornaments were shattered).  Since then we have accumulated hundreds of ornaments that we put on our massive (usually hovering around 8 ft) Frasier fur tree. I have come to be so attached to some of our ornaments, because they tell a story.  Each and every ornament has a meaning behind why it was purchased and why it is being hung on the tree.

I want to share some of my Christmas Story with you.

One of the ornaments on our tree was handmade by my grandma when she was young (about 25) and she had 3 little kids to care for, she was newly divorced and didn't have money to purchase ornaments so she made a whole bunch.  The one that she gave my mother was a little house she made out of cardboard, cotton balls and felt.

We have a ton of well known characters on our tree as well.  My favorites are the 7 Dwarfs.  I found this set at the Disney Store like 6 years ago and bought them just because they were adorable.  What made them different was that they were hand painted glass, since usually those type of ornaments are plastic.

We have a cake that clips on, a teapot that looks like it's pouring into a cup hanging a little lower, barbies and a bottle of wine with the year 2000 written on it, to remember the Millenium (I guess in part to celebrate that the world didn't blow up either) :-p

That is a good visual of some of our tree ornaments.  We have begun putting the ones that are specifically mine into their own bin so that when I move out I can just take them with me (I would not want any of my ornaments to be left behind), the tradition has to carry on :-). 

How about you, my lovely blog readers?! What is the best part about your tree, or you decorations in general??