24 + 1 = 25 Randomly Awesome Things About Me

So in lieu of my upcoming 24th birthday I have decided to compile a list of things about me that are pretty well known and some not so much. I know the kitschy facespace about me thing (sorta) but this idea has been forming in my head for a bit so here goes:

1. I am obsessed with odd numbers, hence the 24+1. I don't know why but I find them more pleasant. All my tattoos and piercings are done so they add up to an odd number. And everything is asymmetrical.
2. Winter is my favorite season. My temper is much more regulated if it is below 60 degrees.
3. I have kept a journal since I was 13 and try to write in it as much as possible. My hopes, fears, dreams and sappy dramatic love life fill up a bunch of pages.
4. Regardless of what people think about Christmas and its commercialism I will always be happiest during that time of year.  I go a little crazy with decorations and lights. And I'm obsessed with my tree.
5. My brother is 18 and my sister is 5, we are super spaced apart but more alike than anyone could have ever guessed.
6. I can never pass up a good book.
7. I love my new career change. I will never take back going to college but I wish I would have gone to Cosmetology school earlier on.
8. I've had my heart broken approximately one time. Many heart aches though.
9. I wish upon the first star I see in the night sky. I know my wishes don't come true, but I like to hold onto the innocence of ...when you wish upon a star.
10. Pink is my absolute favorite color.
11. My parents are my biggest heroes. They have overcome so much; having a kid as teenagers, being married for 21 years and raising us with integrity.
12. Me best best best friend is Jennette. I hope that we grow old and have wheelchair races while remembering our amazing adventures.
13. I can't get enough of sparkly things. Glitter shoes, eyeshadow etc. You get the drift.
14. I've taken 12 years of French and minored in it in college. I wouldn't say I could speak amazingly but I could definitely have a conversation and find my way around.
15. My hair is curly and 95% of the time I like to keep it that way. Straight hair just doesn't feel like me.
16. I am super impatient. I like to see the results of things as quickly as possible. 
17. Hair color is intriguing to me. I love the way it can transform someone. But I have no desire to color my own. I aspire to become an Aveda Color Purefessional.
18. Barbie was my inspiration growing up. Her hair, her clothes, her shoes and the fact that she could be whatever she wanted. My imagination was out of this world. I am sad that people hate on the fact that her body is disproportionate. It's not Barbie that ruined girls self images, it's the media and our lack of belief in ourselves.
19. Jewelry is kind of my trademark. From big rings to vintage necklaces, I love it.
20. I've learned to smile through almost everything, even if I hurt.
21. If I think you've been having a bad day and I want to make you feel better I write letters to you. Sometimes anonymously and sometimes I'll sign my name. All for the sake of letting you know that someone cares.
22. I bake one mean pumpkin scookie...yes that says scookie (scone+cookie). People have gotten into fights over them before.
23. I don't think I'll ever learn enough.
24. My family comes first, and if I come off as a bitch because I feel so strongly about that...so be it. If I see you potentially putting them in any kind of danger or harm the talons will come out.
25. Spiders and deer mortify me. I know deer seems pretty irrational but I always feel like they are plotting my death...make fun if you'd like.

There you have it one fact about me for each year I've been alive plus one to keep my odd number obsession alive. Hope you enjoy :)

2012

Where to start off?? 2011 was brought in with a bang. Great friends, great beer (GLBC Christmas Ale to be exact), music, a little smooching, the sexiest sky high glitter heels from GUESS and pictures to remember. But what I have taken out of 2011 is priceless. And that is my ability to survive all the bullshit it has given me and know that I had some amazing times too.

I survived:

• losing my job in April 
• losing my chance to move into the most beautiful vintage apartment in Lakewood
• realizing some people could let you down
• seeing the love of my life after 2 years of him being away, talking to him for months then hearing him tell me he was getting married (the day of)
• The first 6 months of Cosmetology School at Brown Aveda
• heartache and general boy frustrations

I gained:

• a new career path in Cosmetology
• an appreciation for the people who have always been in my life and aren't going anywhere
• new people in my life who have been amazing
• the ability to face heartbreak once and for all and know it is necessary in life
• a new outlook on loving myself before seeking it from others.

I'm a nice person and I give alot of myself to other people but in the end after all those Facebook status updates about New Years Resolutions and changing, I've realized something. And that is that no matter what, a date in time isn't going to force you to resolve anything. Only you can do that, and maybe by looking back on the things in time and the year that you had you can learn it only helped define you as a person. I learned I'm much stronger emotionally than I ever thought possible and that I will do what it takes to get things done. I don't need another person, a fabulous job or love to define me, to tell me what is right or wrong or make me feel like I am worth something. Although, there will be times I will feel lonely or maybe distraught but ya know what? It's okay. Therefore I am not making a resolution to tack on the wall and look at in the hopes it might come true but I am going to make a dedication to strengthen my belief in myself and know that everything I do has a motivation and reason behind it and to ALWAYS be okay with my decisions and never stop wishing on the first star I see in the sky every night, because I deserve all of that much and more. At least until the world ends :p (p.s. that was sarcasm...no belief in the end lol)

Happily Dreaming of the Year ahead.

I hope that everyone else has an amazing start to their New Year and they have a bold refreshing outlook.

Major Life Choices

I've reached a fork in the road in my life, I wish I knew exactly what to do.  I sort of hope that something would fall from the sky, hit me in the head and tell me exactly where to go, what to do and who to turn to along the way for the right answers.  Unfortunately that is not the case, there is no instruction booklet that says "do 'a' and 'b' will be the outcome."  You cannot remotely know what to expect in life.  The past month I have had a series of curve balls thrown at me from left and right field (all at the same time) and I'm not very good with hand-eye coordination.  Seriously I've been hit in the face and upper body region with more baseballs (and all other sports balls) than I care to recall, but I digress.

I am at a point in my life where I am job hunting again.  I have a clean slate and I know that somehow it is a sign to move on, but I don't know if I should straight up look for options in places that are not Ohio or if I should look harder in Ohio.  I have friends who have no problems picking up and moving and I know people who have searched and searched here.  I have an inspiration, someone who has moved regardless of how much it sucks and they have done it twice within the past 12 months, they are chasing their dreams they are making the best of the situation and it just pushes me to be brave.  I wish I could be like that, pick up and go, take a plunge.  I miss my bravery, the girl who had no problem taking on "impossible" challenges from the boys on the playground and who could do a flip on the monkey bars w/o blinking.  Slowly throughout the years I've lost that and I'm not quite sure why.

I'm headstrong, smart and always willing to take on a challenge when posed with an obstacle, but there is something about moving that just freaks me out...the uncertainty, the possibility you'll have to move back home, lonliness?  I don't know what it is but I know I'm not the only one with these fears.  Maybe it's just because I don't know what I want to do...get my master's, pursue a career in an amazing city, change professions (cosmetology has always interested me) but I do love the world of Marketing & Public Relations.

This is how all this thinking makes me feel; goofy & not sure what to caption this pic as.

This writing of course is always very therapeutic to me.  Ever since I can remember I have picked up a journal and a pen when things are troubling me or when I'm excited or in love...oh hell whenever there was something I wanted to keepsake.  I think in due time I'll decide concretely, but for now I'm going to just apply to places in other cities to see if I would even hear back.  Why?  Well because you never know when an opportunity is going to arise and if it does why not take the chance...what do I have to lose?

Shallow or Overly Sensitive?

I'm not sure if this blog post is going to be more ranting or more of a general observation.  I've been noticing lately that people have become so fixated on looks that they have become entirely inconsiderate of the things that come out of their mouths.  I'm not surprised and I don't want to reprimand anyone because people are entitled to their opinion.

I know that media portrays a specific look.  And I know almost every woman sits down and compares herself to Heidi Klum or Megan Fox, those women who turn every head and seem so glamorous and enamored by all.  Don't get me wrong, these women are just that and I am on the same page in thinking they are gorgeous.  But we neglect the other beautiful women just because they are not size 0's that everyone wants to have sex with.

I won't lie she's hott, total girl crush but that's not the point.

Why is it that we don't put girls who are over 120 lbs on magazine covers or feature plus sized models?  Women are beautiful in all aspects, we cannot all be perfect barbie dolls who look like we were manufactured in a factory.  We've made things out to be negative: pale, curvy, too tall, stick figure, freckles, curly hair (I remember when everyone would ask me why I didn't straighten mine every day) etc. etc. there are so many.  Everyone has a beauty.  I'm putting up a picture of Crystal Renn, who is now a plus sized model (size 16) who was a model before and had suffered for many years from an eating disorder so that she would be found attractive.

I truly think she is beautiful. 

The main problem is that we've conditioned ourselves to have a really messed up sense of beauty, to treat women as objects instead of people with feelings.  I'm not saying this is everyone, or that it is an overwhelming majority, it is just something I have noticed recently.  From friends comments, banter between friends, hearsay to Facebook statuses etc. etc.
 
I'm going to just shine a light on the fact that I'm not the thinnest person, but I know that I am pretty. My confidence isn't rock solid, but I am proud of who I am and what I have done in my life.  My heart is always in the right place and I'm consistently looking for ways to make people happy.  However, as much as I hear about all those great things you hear people say "if only she was thinner etc. etc."  I won't deny that I could be in better shape, but I'm not going to starve myself to make someone like me.  I am a strong, stubborn, loving, bubbly and dedicated woman.  I'm going to state that if you don't like it, well then your damn loss because I promise you will not meet someone who does half the things I do.  That is a direct shout out to a few guys of recent, have fun with vapid ladies.

Okay okay, maybe the above statement sounded partially conceited, not my intent but I've been frustrated with people lately.  There is a detrimental aspect to being overly shallow when it comes to getting to know people and mainly it falls under not giving someone the chance to shine and show who they are, but also denying yourself the ability to see the exquisiteness of someone under a pre-concieved, society approved notion of acceptable beauty.  So, in risk of being totally shut down do you think that people are too shallow or that I'm being overly sensitive?

Bye Bye Vegetarianism

I have been a vegetarian for about 4.5 years and starting in February I had been having thoughts of giving it up.  However, I wasn't quite sure how to end something that I had been committed to that long.  When I became a vegetarian I was under insane amounts of stress with school, friends and of course boys.  I couldn't seem to make anyone happy and I had a desire to grasp something that I knew I could solely control and no matter what it wouldn't have an opinion about me.  So I woke up one day and decided I was going to give up meat and become a vegetarian. 

I had this theory that if I could eat better, I would feel better and maybe in some aspect  I would be able to make things around me better as a whole.  I was holding a grudge against someone, I hated my classes and I was just fairly miserable for an entire semester in school, and for some reason this seemed like a good way to pull myself out.

I didn't expect to stay a vegetarian for so long, but I ended up being extremely dedicated to it and researched some great recipes substituted meat for tomatoes and found that I actually like mushrooms (of course I tried them about a thousand times before I decided they were okay.)  So this brings me to the whole point of this post, on Saint Patrick's Day this year I really wanted a corned beef Reuben.  I thought about ordering one at lunch but I was worried I'd get sick and I got a salad instead.  My  coworkers were really rooting for me to break the veggie lifestyle but I couldn't do it.  After work my intern and myself went out to the Winking Lizard in Coventry to celebrate his new job and have a drink and it was there that I finally decided to order my Reuben.  One bite into it's corned beef goodness and I knew I made the right choice.  Let me tell you, you never forget what those things taste like.  I'll still be eating a great deal of veggies but I have decided that I'm going to hang out with the protein again.

So have any of my readers been vegetarian and gone back or have you thought about becoming a vegetarian?  Give me some feedback :)

Peace & High Heels

Revelations

So, I realize that it has been quite awhile since I have posted anything on my blog (not sure if anyone reads this so it may not even matter).  I have had so many revelations about friends recently and I have come to the conclusion that there are just people in your life who make it so much better, those people who even if you lose touch with them for a long time come back like they talked to you yesterday.

I have known the same group of guys for about 5 years now and for the most part it has been a consistent time.  But, every so often one person in the group with fall out or someone will get into a fight which throws the aura of the whole group off.  I just have a personal shout out to Buddy, who I have lost contact with and regained it as though no time had ever been lost quite a few times, but I really prefer when we talk on a frequent basis.  It's nights like tonight where driving to Coventry and watching SVU make you realize just how much a friend means to you.

My life has been so full of amazing people and without them I'm not sure where I would be or how I would have gotten through certain situations both good and bad without them.  So from the bottom of my heart, to each and every friend I have, Thank You. <3

23 Lessons Learned in 23 Years

Today marks the end of my birthday weekend, if you don't celebrate your birthday for at least three days you need to try it.  My actual birthday was on Saturday (Jan. 29) but I celebrated with friends on the 28th, my parents and good friend yesterday and again with my parents today (we had cake).  Anyhow, I turned 23 this year and I cannot say that I feel any different than I did at 22 or even at 21...except maybe not getting as excited to be able to buy wine if I want it.  I want to share the things I've learned over the past 23 years.

1. Regret is a wasted emotion, it is not possible to change what has happened nor to wish it away.  Why would you want to take back something that made you happy in the first place?
2. One should put less stock in what others are thinking of them; the labels, the rumors, the gossip and the cliques of life....they are all short lived and you should let yourself do what makes you happy.
3. Make sure your work means something to you, I for one always want to see my work helping others and working towards a cause.
4. People come and go in your life for multitudes of reasons, be grateful and don't ever let your friends forget you love them.
5. If you find someone in your life that you are in pain without make sure they know your feelings, one day someone else will have told them.
6. Do what you love, if that be working in a coffee shop or obtaining your doctorate, the world is really in your hands.
7. No matter what differences you had growing up, your younger siblings will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.  My little brother is the best person in the world.
8. Sometimes revisiting your childhood is good for the soul.  If you loved barbies break them out, if you zoomed around with hotwheels zoom around the track again.
9. Your grandparents will not be around forever, take time to sit down and learn their stories.  You'd be surprised what you will hear.
10. People will surprise you everyday of your life, this can be good or bad.
11. Roll with the punches per say.
12. You'll have many heartbreaks in your life.  Learn something from each and everyone of those people.
13. Read the classics; nothing will ever replace a well written book.
14. Take a drive, get lost and learn how to get yourself back.
15. Dogs make the best companions, no matter what mood you're in they just want to sit on your lap.
16. Hate takes more out of the person holding it than the person it is directed towards.
17. You can spend your whole life either wishing to be somewhere else or to go back in time.  Learn to live more in the present.
18. Smile at every person you pass, you might just be the only person to have done so.
19. Dream big.
20. Write letters to people telling them all the things you wish you said, just to put it on paper, but don't send them.
21. Keep a journal.  Write any words that come to your mind.
22. Carry a camera with you always, you never know what you might come across.
23. Start a conversation with a stranger.

23rd Birthday!

And these my readers are some of the things I have learned over the course of my life.  I'm still young so I know these are bound to change and reshape themselves.  I also have no doubt I will add onto them.  Hope someone can take some of these and tweak them to make it their own.