What Happened to Gentlemen?

I'm not sure at what point in time the good old fashioned dating world changed. However, I'm not too sure I'm happy with the way things have made their turn. Maybe it is the self dependency that women have acquired. Is it the "I'm gonna make money like man, take care of myself like a man and hell fuck like a man" mentality that has gotten us this far? Instead of being asked out on a date I find myself being asked to give a blow job or "let them get it in" (what the hell?? I do not live on the Jersey Shore, no smashing is going to be happening if you ask that way).  Now don't get me wrong, there are times and moments when this type of thing might fly, I just might be in the mood. But good grief is it too hard to say "Hey babe, lets go see a movie and get something to eat" then we can sit awkwardly and stare at one another while we try to come up with suitable topics for a date and hold our clammy hands together and then at the end of the night headbutt one another as we go in for that first kiss.  There is a certain charm when you think of those dates and those times to laugh over. Wouldn't it be nice to start the awkwardness off there than naked in a strangers bed?

I guess I'm just confused.  Now, if you know me (and I'd say most people reading this don't) I am very very very in touch with my sexuality.  I'll talk candidly about my sex life, I'll tell you what I enjoy and what I don't, I'll inform you of things about me that most people wouldn't dare talk about.  But that doesn't mean that I only want to be taken for a sexual object.  I am a sweetheart, I'll do the corniest things and I love to hold hands.  Those moments come far and few in between so mostly I prefer to stay single and avoid the whole world of relationships and dating in general.  Now, I know all guys are not like this. So trust me when I say that I am not lumping them all together. However it just seems like a regular occurrence.

When I first started this draft I was going through a time period where I was basically dealing with the *ahem* douchiest men I have ever met. They just felt that they were somehow blessed and I should be so grateful they were talking to me and succumb to their every whim.  So I decided to delete all of the undesirable numbers out of my phone and start fresh and even try a little online dating.

Let me just say woof (and not like Macaulay Culkin referring to Buzz's girlfriend in Home Alone) but in terms of the quality of men on the internet.  Let's see, common catch phrases include "hey girl, you're so sexxy" or "wud up" and my favorite "you like to fuck?"....uhm I

don't even know what web browser you are using sir I sure as well will not be coming over and letting you have any kind of way with me.  So dear readers I pose this question to you.  Do gentleman still exits? Do you pull out chairs and open doors?  Or is chivalry dead and are women expected to put out on the first date?

Seems to be the attitude of the guys I've been encountering.

24 + 1 = 25 Randomly Awesome Things About Me

So in lieu of my upcoming 24th birthday I have decided to compile a list of things about me that are pretty well known and some not so much. I know the kitschy facespace about me thing (sorta) but this idea has been forming in my head for a bit so here goes:

1. I am obsessed with odd numbers, hence the 24+1. I don't know why but I find them more pleasant. All my tattoos and piercings are done so they add up to an odd number. And everything is asymmetrical.
2. Winter is my favorite season. My temper is much more regulated if it is below 60 degrees.
3. I have kept a journal since I was 13 and try to write in it as much as possible. My hopes, fears, dreams and sappy dramatic love life fill up a bunch of pages.
4. Regardless of what people think about Christmas and its commercialism I will always be happiest during that time of year.  I go a little crazy with decorations and lights. And I'm obsessed with my tree.
5. My brother is 18 and my sister is 5, we are super spaced apart but more alike than anyone could have ever guessed.
6. I can never pass up a good book.
7. I love my new career change. I will never take back going to college but I wish I would have gone to Cosmetology school earlier on.
8. I've had my heart broken approximately one time. Many heart aches though.
9. I wish upon the first star I see in the night sky. I know my wishes don't come true, but I like to hold onto the innocence of ...when you wish upon a star.
10. Pink is my absolute favorite color.
11. My parents are my biggest heroes. They have overcome so much; having a kid as teenagers, being married for 21 years and raising us with integrity.
12. Me best best best friend is Jennette. I hope that we grow old and have wheelchair races while remembering our amazing adventures.
13. I can't get enough of sparkly things. Glitter shoes, eyeshadow etc. You get the drift.
14. I've taken 12 years of French and minored in it in college. I wouldn't say I could speak amazingly but I could definitely have a conversation and find my way around.
15. My hair is curly and 95% of the time I like to keep it that way. Straight hair just doesn't feel like me.
16. I am super impatient. I like to see the results of things as quickly as possible. 
17. Hair color is intriguing to me. I love the way it can transform someone. But I have no desire to color my own. I aspire to become an Aveda Color Purefessional.
18. Barbie was my inspiration growing up. Her hair, her clothes, her shoes and the fact that she could be whatever she wanted. My imagination was out of this world. I am sad that people hate on the fact that her body is disproportionate. It's not Barbie that ruined girls self images, it's the media and our lack of belief in ourselves.
19. Jewelry is kind of my trademark. From big rings to vintage necklaces, I love it.
20. I've learned to smile through almost everything, even if I hurt.
21. If I think you've been having a bad day and I want to make you feel better I write letters to you. Sometimes anonymously and sometimes I'll sign my name. All for the sake of letting you know that someone cares.
22. I bake one mean pumpkin scookie...yes that says scookie (scone+cookie). People have gotten into fights over them before.
23. I don't think I'll ever learn enough.
24. My family comes first, and if I come off as a bitch because I feel so strongly about that...so be it. If I see you potentially putting them in any kind of danger or harm the talons will come out.
25. Spiders and deer mortify me. I know deer seems pretty irrational but I always feel like they are plotting my death...make fun if you'd like.

There you have it one fact about me for each year I've been alive plus one to keep my odd number obsession alive. Hope you enjoy :)

2012

Where to start off?? 2011 was brought in with a bang. Great friends, great beer (GLBC Christmas Ale to be exact), music, a little smooching, the sexiest sky high glitter heels from GUESS and pictures to remember. But what I have taken out of 2011 is priceless. And that is my ability to survive all the bullshit it has given me and know that I had some amazing times too.

I survived:

• losing my job in April 
• losing my chance to move into the most beautiful vintage apartment in Lakewood
• realizing some people could let you down
• seeing the love of my life after 2 years of him being away, talking to him for months then hearing him tell me he was getting married (the day of)
• The first 6 months of Cosmetology School at Brown Aveda
• heartache and general boy frustrations

I gained:

• a new career path in Cosmetology
• an appreciation for the people who have always been in my life and aren't going anywhere
• new people in my life who have been amazing
• the ability to face heartbreak once and for all and know it is necessary in life
• a new outlook on loving myself before seeking it from others.

I'm a nice person and I give alot of myself to other people but in the end after all those Facebook status updates about New Years Resolutions and changing, I've realized something. And that is that no matter what, a date in time isn't going to force you to resolve anything. Only you can do that, and maybe by looking back on the things in time and the year that you had you can learn it only helped define you as a person. I learned I'm much stronger emotionally than I ever thought possible and that I will do what it takes to get things done. I don't need another person, a fabulous job or love to define me, to tell me what is right or wrong or make me feel like I am worth something. Although, there will be times I will feel lonely or maybe distraught but ya know what? It's okay. Therefore I am not making a resolution to tack on the wall and look at in the hopes it might come true but I am going to make a dedication to strengthen my belief in myself and know that everything I do has a motivation and reason behind it and to ALWAYS be okay with my decisions and never stop wishing on the first star I see in the sky every night, because I deserve all of that much and more. At least until the world ends :p (p.s. that was sarcasm...no belief in the end lol)

Happily Dreaming of the Year ahead.

I hope that everyone else has an amazing start to their New Year and they have a bold refreshing outlook.